Editorial introduction
In this post from John Cooley, a newspaper article about a widow who struggled to pay for her husband's funeral opens a larger conversation about what agency funeral coordinators need to know—and often don't. He explains a widely used financial arrangement that could have resolved the problem immediately, and asks why no one on the agency's planning team thought to ask about it. It is a practical, experience-based reminder that preparation means knowing what questions to raise before a family is left facing them alone.
I recently read a newspaper story about the wife of an officer killed in the line of duty who had to pay for the funeral herself and didn't have enough money. The story wasn't very informative about the support she received from her husband's agency, but from what was said, I got the impression that the agency's funeral coordinator wasn't experienced or knowledgeable about the people issues involved—especially the financial ones. Had they been, many of the concerns she described wouldn't have arisen.
She commented that after the death she received no financial support from anyone. That's hard for me to believe, because there are several support organizations that will provide funds as soon as they are contacted by the deceased officer's agency. My only conclusion is that no one knew about these organizations or made any effort to identify them.
The issue discussed most in the article was the widow's attempt to pay for the funeral with her husband's life insurance policy. The insurance company told her she wouldn't receive the benefits for several months, while the mortuary demanded immediate payment.
I have coordinated many funerals, and numerous mortuaries have informed surviving spouses about the option to "reassign" a life insurance policy to pay for mortuary services. A reassignment means the spouse signs a legal agreement directing that a specific amount be taken from the life insurance policy and sent directly to the mortuary before the remaining funds are paid to the spouse. It is a common, well-established practice in the funeral industry.
I don't know why this widow wasn't informed. Possibly the mortuary viewed the problem as one the insurance company should resolve. Based only on what I read in a brief newspaper article, I can make two assumptions: either the mortuary didn't offer her the option, or no one asked. Regardless, she should have been told about insurance reassignment—by the mortuary, the insurance company, or the agency's funeral coordinator.
Once again, if an agency funeral coordinator doesn't have the expertise to know, they should have the initiative to ask. A variety of resources could have helped this widow and her agency's planners ensure that the financial issues were appropriately resolved and that she received every available source of assistance. A phone call through my website would have been a start.
Agency planners cannot wait for support groups to call and offer assistance. They need to be proactive. They cannot expect the mortuary and memorial park to solve every related problem, because sometimes they don't. Maybe the mortuary assumed it was the insurance company's issue to resolve. As funeral coordinators, we need to be aware of what is occurring—and when we learn there are financial concerns, we need to identify what those concerns are and seek out the resources to address them.
If not us, who?
By John Cooley | Policefunerals.com